I swear, every single time i've thought to post something, i worried i wasn't being feminist enough for the blog. which is probably completely appropriate considering the content and purpose of what i've started here: navigating this line between the traditional definition of a Woman-Mother and the 2010 definition of an independent Powerhouse-Woman.
It's been a crazy 6 weeks...not only because my body has been going through some INSANE changes (ever imagine having the sense of smell a dog has? get knocked up sometime) but because the people around me have been going through their own insane changes, some just because life is like that, and some in reaction to my Big News.
I think the oddest thing to me or the most shocking maybe, is that the people who i expected to be disappointed or confused in my decision to become a mother have actually been the most supportive, and the ones (one in particular) who i expected to be SO supportive has been so adamantly crappy about it all...
i had an interesting experience a couple weeks ago where this person, who is trying to 'make it' in the music industry mused in a nonchalant way (in front of other people) that i had become "really obsessed" with this whole baby thing. which is probably completely true...i do talk incessantly much about the baby, my body, the future, etc., but what i find funny is that in our community (artists, feminists, badass people) it's generally considered an ok thing to become obsessed with your product -whether it be your art, your music, or if you are trying to brand yourself as an artists - with yourSELF. so while that is all okay and fine, it's not okay for someone who is growing a whole other person to be a little obsessed with that? shouldn't all parents be a little obsessed with bringing their projects to fruition? how is my baby any less important than your upcoming demo track, or your music video? who the hell knows what this kid is going to accomplish once it leaves the womb - he/she has already been a catalyst for a HUGE amount of emotional/spiritual/mental growth for me and my partner, not to mention helped me as an individual feel more connected to the great big booga booga of the universe, which is something i thought i'd lost after a really soul crushing 4 years in academia.
i don't know. i'm rambling, but at least i'm sharing, and that's the whole effing point, so i think i need to keep this up.
